tale to tale

Mum is resting in a hospice and we’ve taken the opportunity whilst she’s here to reminisce with her, I asked “what was your favourite holiday?”

She replied “Oh not right now”, she shut down the conversation. She was knackered.

After she said that, I thought, what does it matter? Her favourite? Anyone’s ‘favourite’.

To signify that one of our childhood holidays would be her favourite almost negates the enjoyment of the others, or at least, it sets a hierarchy.

And then I thought, why the hell do we do something like this?

Why do we compare experiences of our past and give some higher status to others?

Sure, we may have a more pleasant experience, richer memories or more to take away from some trips than others, but does that mean that we should concentrate our story telling on one trip, over and over.

Why one. Why do we do this? Why do we have a favourite colour, animal, band, live performance, stag trip, night out etc.

We limit ourselves to these singular things, for what, labels, identity, pride?

Although she wasn’t trying to teach me a lesson and just wanted me to shut up, ultimately she did.

I think we could stop this more in our day to day lives –  to take the pressure off ourselves and just say:

“Oh, I don’t have one”

I fell into this trap during my podcast, Footprints.

I’d ask each guest to tell me about their favourite day (so far) and I’d hear beautiful and hilarious stories.

But it’s the alternative answers that I remember most:

I had Jamie who answered with a moment rather than a day, when they wake up next to their partner and realise they get to spend the rest of their life with them.

I had Emma who created her perfect day, which was lovingly family orientated and involved their perfect meals.

And I had John, who answered “everyday”.

Perhaps there’s more to take away from these answers than I thought – I palmed them off at first for being lazy (confession), but that’s not true at all.

Our favourite day. Our favourite holiday. Favourites. Why pick one? When you can have them all.

My favourite holidays will be the ones where I can explore to my heart’s content, learn and relax.

But why must there be a singular favourite, what’s the point of that? How limiting.